yadda yadda yadda

Blah blah blah. I need a break from staring at my business law notes so I am going to come and ramble... sound good? yes I thought so.

So yes... oh to the thoughts because we all know I can't speak unless I number things...

#1- That final I took last night. Worst. Experience. Of. My. Life. And I think its bad because I know I made STUPID mistakes. I mean it was hard but I just did stupid stuff, and I can't figure out what was wrong. Like I didn't even take the test the same way that I normally take tests. I think he psyched me out for it last week, and I had so much pressure on myself to do well in the class, and there was other pressure too.. but I don't feel like sharing that stuff with the whole world. I don't I feel like I was just really psyched out and then I got nervous and then one of the problems was hard, and I couldn't get my cash flow to work, and I felt like I was running out of time, and it was late, and I was stressed and it was just bad, bad, bad. I seriously thought that I was going to cry. Like I missed whole words. Like seriously... how do you miss whole words....  I don't know but it was bad.

#2- On a positive note, I am pretty sure that Golden Doodles are the most adorable dogs in the entire world and I just want to pick them up and love on them. The problem with them though? They get so BIG! I can't do big dogs, I need a little thing that I can carry around and pick up when it decides to get prissy with me. You can't just pick up 100lb dog when he won't listen to you.... or a 65lb dog who won't go in his crate because his mother spoils him... believe me.. I've tried the later,... also impossible.

#3 I dont remember the last time I saw or spoke to my fiance for more than like.. 30 minutes. Bad.....

#4 I feel like I've worked my butt off for the last two years and somehow within the last week or two everything that I worked so hard for has fallen to pieces around me.  For example... I haven't been to the gym in a week.. why? Because I literally couldn't find the time. I'm afraid I'll fall into a nasty rut and never get back to the gym. And then I'll look gross again.... because we all know how awesome my eating habits are.

#5- Sometimes I wish I had like... an invention. Because there are things that I want to "talk" about but either, I don't have the right person to talk to them about, I don't want to actually say them out loud, or I want to say them but I don't want proof that I've ever said them or thought them. Even on here I censor myself because I put this out there for everyone to read, but I don't necessarily wanting those people to know all my thoughts.... and then there are some people who even if you did talk to them about things... they're just not the right person to talk to. Like if I was really upset about how awful my dog was behaving (this isn't something I'd actually censor myself on....) I'm not going to talk to my friend who I love, but knows nothing about animals because... they won't be of any help. And then there are other things that I'm like Gah I would love to get this off my chest, but I don't want to tell anyone and I don't want to write it down because even if I locked it away in box with a lock and a key it is possible that someday someone would find it... and sometimes you just don't want your thoughts and emotions held against you. I don't know. I feel like I have this problem a lot though. I don't know... maybe I'm just not comfortable with people enough to tell them things too even though they could be helpful.

#6- I have so many neuroses. I have this problem where I think something is going to happen and even if it is completely illogical to "want" something to happen, I will it to happen so I could just get it over with. For example, if I just had a feeling that tomorrow I was going to wake up and get hit by a commit... I would just like sit around waiting for it to happen- and I would just sit there, wishing it would happen already so I could get on with my life until either a) it happened or b) something happened that proved to be it wouldn't happen. Referring to point #5- something like that's going on right now and I'd love to tell someone I just feel like I don't have anyone to tell.

#7- I am being ridiculously long winded tonight- I'm sorry I truly do apologize.

#8- I often find myself wishing that people had instant understanding. Like if I told someone I was allergic to peanuts (I'm not) they'd instantly understand how much it might suck (or rock... obvi that doesn't apply to the peanuts example), and all the ramifications is has on my life, and everything I might know about it. I just hate explaining things sometime- ironic because of #5.

#9- I always have this weird irrational fear that I am going to completely sleep through a final even though it might be at like 5 in the afternoon. I have no idea why.... Although it might have something to do with that time I woke up 10  minutes into a test... but that kind of beside the point because not only did I take/finish the whole test,... I also worried about that before that happened to me.

#10- Oh, oh my god. Last night when I went to get something at the gas station... The cashier was the creepiest guy in the world.... ever. Pretty sure. I literally got the hee-bee jee-bees from him.... 

Slowwwww Dowwnnnnn

I knowww- MIA for like 5 years again. My bad... but my life is so busy...

So... some updates.

#1- I called my internship boss the other day (is that weird that I call him that?? I feel so silly...) because when I emailed him what I was thinking of doing this summer- he told me to give him a call. I guess I was a little dense when I went to talk to him this January and didn't quite get it- but they plan on keeping me on all next year as an intern as well. Obviously, I won't work NEARLY as much because I will be slaving away at the books... but you know... still that's pretty cool. He flat out told me that they hire 99% of their employees so I guess I should be pumped. But as the title suggests... I kind of wish time would slow down.

#2- All I want to do is wake up go for a niceeeee lonnnnggg runnnnn take a shower and then be lazy allllllllll day. Like completely lazy. have delicious food brought to me on nice plates, watch bad TV, and read books. And eat chocolate cake.

#3- I am soooo tireddd. I do not even remember the last time that I slept more than 6-7 hours in a night. Lately I've been averaging close to 5.5 ... awesome.

#4- I want fresh flowers. I mean obvi it's a waste because I'm too stressed out to enjoy them at the moment- and I'd be leaving before they died... so its kind of pointless but you know.... I like flowers haha.

#5- Zach rubbed my temples for me earlier and I'm pretty sure I saw St. Peter...

#6- I haven't thought about anything other than accounting finals for the last 3 weeks. SO STRESSFUL. I dont even feel like my semester is coming to an end. I feel like its drawing on and on and on and onnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

#7- I could really go for some water, with a quarter lemon and 3 splenda, in a yellow cup. A bright yellow cup, like sunshine yellow, not mustard yellow or crayola crayon yellow, but sunshine. you know what I'm talking about.

#8- September seems like it was years ago.

#9- I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles- Audrey Hepburn.

#10 I believe I am going back to studying. I believe I am going to take a shower. I believe I have probably gained 5lbs this week, and that I am probably not doing myself much good by never sleeping. I believe that school is hard, and that I work way too hard. I believe that when I graduate and get a real job I am taking a very expensive vacation. Very expensive. 

Woops...

Oops... 17 days accidently passed and I haven't updated my blog. My b. I've been so busy with school, work, life, and feeling lazy that I haven't gotten around to updating. To be honest- it feels like its been more than 2.5 weeks... but apparently not.

So some thoughts....

#1- I am kind of worried about finals. I just don't want to do it. I'm tired- and I think my brain is on vacation or something because it seems to be failing me lately.

#2- I was just there last night- but there is this yummy new pizza place on the north side of town and they have a really delicious tomato and mozerella salad and I already want to go back and get more.

#3- I tried Sushi again today- it's still as gross as I remembered....

#4- I just watched last night's episode of Bones on Hulu... Naturally I cried. Angie and Hodgie?!?! :) I am so happy.

#5- I really would enjoy ice coffee right now...

#6- I think about food wayyyyy too much. I'm pretty sure 90% of what I write about relates to food I'm wanting, just ate, or plan on eating. Oh Emily...

#7- I love Candles :)

#8- I want sundresssssssses. But my hips make me look ridiculous in them.

#9- Today's Daily Puppy = Adorable Fur Ball.

#10- I would like nothing more than to sleep all weekend... Ugh. Just 9 more days and I am done with Intermediate Accounting for the rest of my life. Oh god...

It's always Tuesday...

Another blog I follow is convinced that it is always Wednesday- and I have to say- I am pretty convinced that it is always Tuesday. Anyway... here are some thoughts and things in my head.

1- Room mate issue for next year = 50% solved. Haha- yes, only 50% :P.

2- I was watching The Diary of Anne Frank on TCM last night. It was a 3 hour movie.It started at 9. Around 11:15 I started to get sleepy :( I missed the last 45 minutes. I am soooo sad! :(

3- I went to the gym with my friend Katy yesterday- she suggested we do ab exercises. Pretty sure I did all of 5 situps and my abs are killing me. Note to Emily- you should probably work on this. Kinda pathetic.

4- I got a 102% on my Operations Management Test!!!! :) It's been a kind of blah semester as far as tests go... I was starting to feel incomplete not having the highest grade on any of them haha. You all probably think I'm conceited- and I swear I'm not! I just really enjoy getting good grades, and BAM has been ruling my life all semester so I've had a hard time focusing my energy on anything. And it was really starting to bug me that I wasn't doing as well as usual on all things.

5- Just a sidenote: high test scores don't equal intelligence. I'm welllll aware of this! And I'm not particularly intelligent so my test scores are my way of feeling good about myself ;)

6- I love Carrie Underwood. She's so talented, and her songs are so catchy- and most importantly, not over played. People who love Tay Swift need to switch their MP3 and listen to C. Underwood, clearly you do not know what real female country singers soundlike. And I use the word "singer" to describe Tay Swift lightly... she kind of just talks ... to music.

7- I feel as though I haven't talked about this in a while... so just in case there was a remote possibility of you forgetting... I love coffee. Mmm. I had a cup of Seatles Best this morning. But... I still prefer DD and prob Starbucks to Seatle's Best...

8- I want to go to Seatlle just because of all the coffee shops they have- no lie.

9- I have been craving some Frune (Fractured Prune) lately... mmm. Carnival = Heaven. I don't remember hte last time I had Frune.

10- I am finally, almost done my 3-4 week long work project. Thank Gah!! I had to organize financial information for like 4 years. Sooooo annoying!

Sometimes I miss High School

I definitely didn't have a bad experience in high-school. Was I mopey and needy? Yeah but so were 89% of the girls, so I wasn't alone. Did I have a boyfriend? Um... well actually thinking back on it- for almost half of it I did.. so I guess I shouldn't complain there... Did I have a social life? Yes. And I think that's what I miss. I know that people still invite me to things now but either a) I can't come, literally, can't I always have work to do, always or b) I end up going and I don't enjoy myself because I don't feel like I have a lot of 'common ground' with people anymore.

I also feel like the dynamics were different then, I had more free time, and I had way less responsibility. Now I am always constantly 'serious' (Not that I was ever really "goofy" in my opinion) and thinking about the next step. Also- I used to be more "go with the flow" and just do things or say things just so that it didn't cause an argument but somewhere along the line I've 'grown a pair' and don't do that as much anymore. And I guess another things that bothers me- is when I hang out with people now, I feel like I am just "there". My mind is always on something else- and I feel like I'm either not wanted or not liked at all now. Which is weird because in high school I seriously believed that no one could dislike me because I didn't have a strong enough personality to really bug anyone.

Anyway- that's totally not the point of this. I was looking through the very FEW pictures I have tagged of myself in high school and I thought I'd post them here in case a) you've never seen them and you're curious or b) to remind you of some of the good times. :)

I think this is probably the 'youngest'. I was in West Virginia on a trip with my Youth Group and it was traditional to go to Good Will-  I picked this number out for wearing to Church on Sundays ;). Totally kidding- but I did think it'd look great on me!

I think this was also my Freshman year. It's one of my favorite pictures from high-school.

 My friend Amy and I made the mistake of letting someone do our hair. I know what you're thinking- Future Miss. America. We know :)

Beginning of my Junior Year. Our dog Maddie, died and we got two new adorable little puppies.

 Fall of either junior or senior year, I love this picture- I know it's probably just the bad quality of the camera but we BOTH look like we're absolutely glowing. :) In case you were curious- we were playing in the park like all the cool kids do. :)

 "Prom"- Okay- so there are going to be three pictures but in case you're unaware when I was in high school quite literally 95% of my friends, and people I hung out with, were the year ahead of me. I had 2 or 3 friends in my grade- but all my true friends were a year older than me. At my high school you were only allowed to go to Prom as a senior- unless you were younger and the date of the senior. So there was so much drama that year about planning prom and getting me TO prom- and who was going to take me etc. I really honestly thought I'd never get to go.

One of the big "drama" areas was who was going to take me. The guy above (my "husband" Zach, not to be confused with my now fiance, Zach, two totally different people) wanted to go with this one girl- but she said no to him. And then this other guy, who we'll call Frank for simplicity asked me. But before he asked me I already knew that he wanted to REALLY go with B ... or C... I can't remember who was "#1" But if B was like #1, then C was #2, and I was #3 or as he liked to call it "Plan C"- haha. It's not that big of a deal now- but at the time he couldn't figure out why I'd be offended at being "plan C". As it is- I ended up going with my "husband" Zach. I'm not even sure how or if he asked me all I know is that we went together!

This picture is my absolute favorite of me ever. It was taken on my parents camera, and then I just scanned it onto the computer changed the quality to black and white. I remember when I posted this on MySpace I got like legit 50+ comments on it saying how awesome it was. Anyway- the story I wanted to tell under this picture was my "dress" story. That year I had been looking at dresses online with my friend Brittany and I fell in loveeee with this dress. It was gorgeous and exactly the dress I wanted for my prom. Well the problem was that it was $375 dollars, and I had no date for prom. I drooled over it for months and when my birthday came around my friend Brit handed me a note that was like "hey- happy 17th Birthday!!! I know you said you didn't want me to get you anything for your birthday- so I decided not to (which I really didn't care about just by the way).... and then something along the lines of but you're awesome and ask Osman a question" or something like that. So then I kind of half noticed that there were random people were weren't on my "lunch shift" at my table but I was like hey Osman Brit wants me to ask you a question or something like that and all the sudden there were like 10 people who weren't on our lunch shift there- and then all our friends and they all sang happy birthday to me and handed me this card. I opened it up and saw $100 dollars and I was like oh my god that's awesome... and then Osman was like no there are 2 more of those... it was $300 dollars... to use and buy my Prom dress. So basically that dress means a toonnnnn to me because all these people (I mean they gave me the card- there were like 20+ signatures on it) had pitched in and done something really nice for me and it was just probably one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for me. Ahh- teary eyed. This story is officially over now. <3 But if any of you guys are reading this thank you so much- it still warms my heart to think about that. Haha okay I need to stop. I am legit tearing up!

Me and Brit on her 19th birthday :) In case you guys are like "um I thought these were high school pictures" - they are. Like I said all my friends were a year older. This was a really awesome night.... :) But there won't be stories for this one. We'll just let the picture say 1,000 words.

My mommy and me right after I graduated from high school. I came a long way in those 4 years :)

And we'll end on this one :) One of the last pictures taken of me before my big venture off into the college world.

<3 Thanks for reading.

Tuesday Tidbits

1- I'm currently working on organizing all my offices financial information. I keep seeing stuff for "March, 2010" and it confuses me- because I'm like "Isn't that right now?" I've been working on this for 2 weeks (it's 3+ years, don't think I'm slow!) and it still hasn't hit that we're in April. This is kind of alarming.

2- I just realizing that I was 14, 7 years ago. Again- things that are kind of alarming.

3- I'm listening to my iTouch at work and humming along- not even caring that it might be bothering some people. This is not like me.

4- Sometimes I swear songs just appear on my iPod that I've NEVER heard of before. Currently that song is "The More I Drink" by Blake Shelton. When did I download this? I kind of like it- but I swear I did not download it!

5. I hate when people superimpose their beliefs on others. This isn't about anyone in particular. Just a thought that I'm not sure I've expressed before. Just because we don't share a belief on how something should be done doesn't mean that yours is 'more right' than mine. Just sayin'. :)

Things I'm Loving

All the pretty spring flowers, and the flowing trees. :) 

Busting out my old rainbows and letting my feet be free

Drinking my water with lemon :)

Working outside instead in the dark, cold, library!

The color yellow!

Conversations with Nikki

I was just relaying to Nikki my morning, and I was in the middle of saying this when she burst out laughing, so I thought I'd share :)

"And here I am, walking along route 13- fighting with my broken umbrella, and slipping in my flip flops trying to get to class. So I was like- well I guess I have to bight the bullet and do it. So I took my flip-flops off and then I was that girl looking a sight on route 13 fighting with her broken umbrella, BAREFOOT- and then I got to the tunnel, and well you know how god-awful that thing is. I don't even want to know what I picked up walking barefoot in that.. I probably have herpes now. "

Friday Ramblings

Hello, hello, hello! I know it's been forever since I updated but this past week has been ahhhh, crazy. Well okay- not ahh crazy, but I just have so many different things going on in my life- that I've been kind of neglecting my bloggy-blog. But I still love it. I love sitting down with a cup of coffee and updating people on the goings ons in my life. So here are some thoughts.

#1 First and forecmost, my life would have been so much better if I hadn't seen the last five minutes of Bones last night. Legit broke my heart.. poor SASB. I just wanted to hug him and let him know it'd all be okay. However, Zach directed my attention to something which could be very "symbolic" the sign outside the Jeffersonian said "Everything first stars from a dream." and I think that could be pretty big. Ahh I freakin' hope so.

#2 I've been doing school work with my friend Katy this week and as weird as this sounds I actually find it exciting to be doing work with a friend in class- why? Because I am way more productive when other people are around- plus it's nice to be able to talk about class work and consult them on something. Plus you know- I only have like 4 friends, so I'm always happy to have more :).

#3- I had the absolute worst, no good morning this morning. Woke up at 8:47 to my friend texting me asking if I was going to class today. "OH MY GOD CLASS STARTS IN 13 MINUTES" so I threw on jeans and a t-shirt and frantically searched for my bag. I left my apartment (with out my key... and we have a $10 fee that I begrudgingly paid because I knew it'd be a hassle and nearly impossible to meet up with my rooms). I'm walking to campus (in the rain) and I realize my umbrella is broken (total bummer, I love my umbrella...), and then I'm freezing because the temperature dropped like 20 degrees since yesterday on top of that. And thennn to make matters worse, I stepped in a big puddle which made my shoes super slippery. Solution? I took my shoes off and walked barefoot for 1/4th a mile until I got onto campus. Then... so that I did not look like a hobo I put them back on. And I made it to class at 9:04. As we spent 35 minutes literally talking about nothing I honestly questioned why I hurried and made a point to get to class. I still have no idea why.

#4 Did I mention that on top of that they were out of cheese pretzels at lunch time? And on top of that i got accepted into a scholar program but since I have a class at the time of their weekly workshop- I will be unable to join? Biggest bummer of a day, ever!

#5 I have a caramel machiata right now though- so things are slowly beginning to look up. Mmm. coffee.

I have tons more thoughts but I know people can only handle so much of my life... so I think I'll stop for now. I love you all <3 :)

I'm so excited!!!

BONES returns tonight!!!! I have a test tomorrow- so I should focus my efforts on studying for that but I am just too darn excited about seeing SASB back in action to miss it. (I'll have to explain this to my management prof. if I do bad)

Ahhh who else is escited?! :)